My 'Father'

It has been a couple of months for me to embrace Christianity. I try to hide it in the beginning, but paper can’t wrap up the fire, the secret eventually reaches my father. The people start to dump me aside. My friends? My Family? Everyone seems like talking behind me and trying to stab-back me. Am I doing the wrong things? Am I considered as betraying my own culture? Am I? No! I am an adult now! I must be firm to my decision. I have the rights to choose my own believe. I can't accept that 'killing people is  fine’ which is prevalent in my culture. I cannot compromise with the verdict of the Oracle and the Egwuwu which can determine a man, either to be sinful or not. As for now, I believe I can find my own way in Christianity. Jesus will help me to bear the suffering of my life. He will save me and bring me to the correct pathway.

My family members start ignoring me including my wicked father and sisters. I don't understand and don’t need them to understand why I need to make such a big change in my life. They won’t support my changes; instead they will curse me for the name of betraying my own Igbo traditions. For me, they are really square-minded and conservative. I am sick of the taboo, and I want go get rid of that. I want to have a happier life. I need freedom and rights to voice up my opinions and question on anything which I face is inappropriate. As expected, my father chases me out from the obi a few days later. But, who cares? It is perfectly fine for me. My Christian friends will let me to stay at their house. I even feel more comfortable with them. I’m like actually at seventh heaven when I finally escape from the shadow of him. He is not my father! He is just a devil for me! I want to let them know even I have embraced Christianity; I am still alive and living happily in my own way.

                                                                         

I am wondering. Why the things around keep falling apart? Sooner or later, I’m taken aback of the news. I can't believe that my father has just passed away. I hear from my friend that he just hangs on himself. As a son, I think I know him better than anyone else. His whole life is tainted with the will to be successful and wealthy. He is actually afraid of failure. He is that kind of perfectionist. He demands everything is perfectly done. If there is anything wrong, he will straight away go mad and crazy. The death of my father has inspired me and strengthens my will to trust my faith. I believe that everyone has their own weakness and feelings, so they should not hide their emotions including a male character. A man can be as gentle as a woman; a man can also be a musician if he has that particular talent. Why not? Why not we make a difference in our own lives since we only live once. Since then, I promise myself, I will be strong to face the challenges in my life. I will be strong to protect my rights and faith. I believe in what doesn’t kill you make you stronger. My journey of searching my faith will continue until the end of my days, how about yours?